The One That Got Away – Meaning, Origin & Usage
The phrase “the one that got away” is a common one in English parlance, coming up in conversations and various forms of entertainment. If you’re wondering what the phrase means and where it comes from, you’ve come to just the place.
In this article, we’re going to cover what is meant by “the one that got away” followed by how the phrase may have originated. Then we will go over how it comes up in literature and the media before discussing the emotional impact of the phrase. Next, we’ll compare the phrase with other, similar versions before covering how to use the phrase in everyday language, and some frequent misconceptions around the phrase.
Let’s get straight to it.
What does “the one that got away” mean?
The phrase “the one that got away” typically refers to a person, usually a romantic interest, who was once significant in someone’s life but is no longer around.
The phrase can be applied in several different contexts. For example due to having been a couple but later breaking up, or a set of circumstances that led to a separation of the two people. Alternatively, however, it could also refer to unrequited or unreciprocated love.
Historical origins of the phrase “the one that got away”
Unfortunately, the precise origin of the phrase “the one that got away” is not known. That said, however, there has been some speculation that the term may be derived from the sport of fishing. Oftentimes, the biggest and best would-be catch seems to always escape, and this can become a metaphor for a past love, or would-have been love, that was lost to circumstance.
Use of the phrase “the one that got away” in literature and media
The most well-known example of “the one that got away” in literature comes from the novel The Great Gatsby, written by F. Scott Fitzgerald and published in 1925. Daisy Buchanan is Gatsby’s “one that got away” and his unrelenting obsession with recapturing the past and winning Daisy back is central to the novel’s theme of unattainable dreams and lost love. This story was later made into a film.
In contrast, there’s also Jane Austen’s novel Persuasion, published in 1818, Anne Elliot’s rejection of Captain Wentworth becomes the central conflict, as she realizes he may have been her true love. Their eventual reunion serves as a resolution to years of longing and regret.
Then in the film Casablanca, released in 1942, Ilsa Lund represents “the one that got away” for Rick Blaine. Their romance, thwarted by duty and circumstances, is a quintessential example of the bittersweet longing encapsulated by the phrase.
The trope also appears in the novel The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro published in 1989, and in the films The Bridges of Madison County, released in 1995, and La La Land released in 2016.
There have also been several songs with the title The One That Got Away, including one by Johnny Cash released in 1962, one by Natasha Beddingfield released in 2010, and one by Katy Perry released in 2011.
The emotional impact of of the phrase “the one that got away”
While people may occasionally feel nostalgic about the past, there are also times when thinking back to former days stops being beneficial, because sadness and regret can begin to take over.
If you over idealize and obsess over a past love or an unrequited love, this can lead to the belief that the person you were meant to be with is forever out of reach. It can also lead to severe self-esteem issues if you’ve been repeatedly rejected by someone.
It is much healthier, both mentally and emotionally, to be in the present moment. Dwelling too much on the past has the potential to sabotage current and future romantic relationships.
Similar, alternative sayings that can be used in place of “the one that got away”
There are several alternative phrases that can often be used in place of “the one that got away”. Here are some examples to consider using:
- a missed opportunity
- a lost love
- the one who slipped through your fingers
- a past flame that still burns
- a lingering regret
- the what-if
- the one that could have been
- a love that got away
How to use the phrase in everyday language
Anyone would be well advised not to use the phrase “the one that got away” when they are with a new romantic partner or new romantic interest because this may cause ill-feeling at best, and an argument followed by a break up at worst.
That said, however, there shouldn’t be any harm in talking about the one that got away with someone who isn’t a potential partner or romantic interest. In fact, in some cases it may be beneficial to talk about it in certain circumstances. For example, if you are talking with a therapist, or if the emotions you are dealing with still feel quite raw.
That said the “one that got away” is such an established trope in story-telling, whether it be in a novel, biography, TV series or film, that it can sometimes be more common to hear in this context rather than in real life.
Final word
So, in summary, the phrase “the one that got away” is most often interpreted as referring to a person, usually an ex, that literally got away from being in a romantic partnership.
The precise origin of the phrase is not known, but there is speculation that it may have derived from fishing, where a great catch may easily escape the fisher-person’s hook.
The phrase “the one that got away” has become so common in literature and in the media that it has become cliche. Thankfully, however, there are many alternative phrases that can often be used in its place.
The idea of the “one that got away” can be harmful mentally and emotionally if it’s not adequately addressed, or if brought up in current or new relationships.
