Goomar – Meaning, Origin and Usage

Has your partner ever jokingly referred to you as Goomar? Or have you ever heard the term used on TV but been clueless as to what it actually means?

Then fear not – you’ve come to just the right place. Today, I’m going to be unpacking everything ‘Goomar’. I’ll be covering what it means of course, and also how the term originated, before I go on to provide several examples of how the term could be used in conversation. Then, I’ll top that off with a few alternative words and phrases you could use instead. Here goes…

What is the Meaning of the phrase ‘Goomar’?

The term ‘Goomar’ is an American-Italian word for a person’s ‘side-piece’ or ‘mistress’. Or more broadly, a woman who will cook, clean, sexually please, and otherwise dote on her American-Italian mobster, basically someone who’ll wait on their fella hand foot, attending to his every need and desire.

In this mobster culture, a mobster would typically have a separate life away from their wives and children, having a Goomar on hand to take care of him in every way while he’s away from his wife.

The Goomar, would be aware thatv she’s merely a side-piece, and would never interact with the mobster’s wife and family, keeping their relationship 100% secret. If she did, he would leave her homeless and destitute, and/or be violent toward her. A ‘Goomar’ is rewarded for her efforts financially, with her mobster boyfriend paying for all her fancy clothes, accessories and jewellery.

What is the Origin of the phrase ‘Goomar’?

Despite what Goomar has come to mean recently, the term is actually derived from a much more wholesome origin. It comes from the Italian word ‘comare’ which in turn is derived from the latin words commāter, from com- (“together”) + māter (“mother”).

‘Comare’ is a slang Italian word, typically used to denote ‘godmother’, someone who is friendly with the family, and would look out for the youngsters in much the same way as an auntie. 

‘Goomar’ however, is Italian-American rather than simply Italian, and the pronunciation changed to form ‘Goomar’, while the meaning of the word changed at around approximately the same time. 

Simply put, the word went from someone who dotes on you in a mothering way, to being used to refer to someone who not only dotes on you but also someone who is always at hand to assist with sexual favours.

The movement of the word into mainstream English started with the 1990 film ‘Goodfellas’ which is an adaptation of a true crime book about the mafia. Then the term gathered more use with the 90s hit TV series ‘The Sopranos’ in the late 90s and early 2000s, which is also about the mob.

Incidentally, this show also brought several other Italian-American words into the vernacular, such as ‘Goombar’ and ‘Gabagool’.

How do you use the phrase ‘Goomar’?

Here are some examples of the word in use.

‘Come here, Goomar, give me a massage, it’s been a long day.

‘What’s for dinner my sexy Goomar.’

‘To be perfectly honest, having a Goomar or two is what saved my marriage, I’d be coming home horny as hell.’

‘Here’s £1,000 my Goomar queen, get yourself a little something.’

‘It’s ok, she’s with me, she’s my Goomar.’

‘Of course, anything for my Goomar.’

‘Ha ha, no, this is my Goomar, my wife is much older. You won’t meet her.’

‘You shouldn’t be out with your Goomar – your wife’s in town.’

‘If you’re going to your Goomar, don’t bother coming back – I’ve had enough. She can have you. I’m getting a divorce, and I’m taking you for everything you’ve got.’

What are some other ways of saying ‘Goomar’? 

The term Goomar is steeped in American-Italian culture, so outside of this culture the term is not so well known, so you may be better off using another term. Here are some examples:

• ‘Mistress’
• ‘Side-piece’
• ‘Bit on the side’
• ‘Bit of skirt’
• ‘Piece of ass’
• ‘Sweethart’
• ‘Girlfriend’
• ‘Other woman’
• ‘Whore’
• ‘Floozy’
• ‘Missus’
• ‘Fancy woman’
• ‘Kept woman’.
• ‘Hot stuff’
• ‘WAG’
• ‘Babe’
• ‘Babydoll’
• ‘Angel’.

Final Thoughts

So to sum up, the term ‘Goomer’ comes from American-Italian culture and was popularised from the 90s onwards, through films such as Goodfellas and Casino, and the hit TV show The Sopranos.

The pronunciation and meaning of the term has changed over time, initially derived from the Italian word for ‘godmother’, ‘comare’, the word ‘Goomar’ has come to refer to a mobster’s mistress, who understands her role, and earns the likes of clothes and jewellery from waiting on her man hand and foot.

The word is often, but not always, used as a term of affection. If you’re not 100% sure how to take the word, pay attention to the context in which it’s being used.